I Dink, Therefore I Am

by The Ditty Committee

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Conceived of by a carefully selected group of fiscal giants
Recorded, Mixed & Produced by James Pertusi at...
The Kennel, The Whelping Box, and Guantanamotown
Mixed at The Whelping Box


released January 27, 2014

Gideon Kendall: vocals, sampler
James Pertusi: bass, guitar, synth, backing vocals
Bob Byrne: keyboards, backing vocals, guitar
Dan Gottesman: drums, backing vocals
Lee Patrick: keyboards, piano
Kevin Lacroix: giggles



all rights reserved


The Ditty Committee Brooklyn, New York

The Ditty Committee is a group of hand picked individuals, each with extensive training in areas including (but not limited to):

Saying words in a meaningful or evocative order.
Assembling notes with interesting mathematical relationships.
Hitting things.
Debt collection.
... more

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Track Name: Onward & Awkward
the milky meter maids with their hair in braids
flirting with their fingers crossed
they say to stay a while and then start writing tickets
and turning all the spigots off
we get the quiver lip
we get the teary eyes
we get a million reasons not to try
we keep it in perspective
we keep it slow and steady
when the signal's given we'll be ready

yeah we're going
onward & awkward
can you believe it
onward & awkward
onward & awkward

the lights are too bright our shoes are too tight
our pupils dilate we hyperventilate
we keep our wits about us hiding our clammy hands
from the people in the stands
they can't pin nothing on us
we've got the tunnel vision
blind fold, chainsaw, make the incision

yeah we're going
onward & awkward
can you believe it
onward & awkward
onward & awkward
ditty committee
onward & awkward
Track Name: The Boy With Only One (1) Head
it would take four eyes to see his desperate tears for two more ears
it would take four ears to hear his desperate cries for two more eyes
it would take two minds to comprehend the longing that he feels
he's a waste of space
he'd be better off dead
he's afraid to show his face
he's the boy with only one head

a quack physician botched a transplant
a faith healer fell from grace
his mother strapped a mirror to the side of his face
but the mirror clouded over in a tide of tears and snot
in wishing for a second he's gonna lose the one he's got
he's a serious case
he's got no indie cred
he needs to take a good look at himself
he's the boy with only one head

when you're feeling like a loser and you wish that you were dead
or perhaps instead of you you'd rather be someone else instead
just give yourself a kiss and put yourself to bed
and remember what i said:

two heads are better than one
one head is better than none
and what's done is done
Track Name: So Close... And Yet So What?
the world was mine and i had some time to waste
so i crawled out of the slime and evolved into an ape
then in the relative blink of an eye i irrevocably altered the landscape
so close to the truth so close to the top
so close and yet so what

the world was mind and i had some time to kill
so i loaded my shotgun and i fired at will
but no matter how many people i shot the stronger the resistance got
so close to the gold so close to the cup
so close and yet so what

so what if it rains
so what if it snows
why are we here
nobody knows
and if they tell you that they do know they're an asshole

the world was mine and i had some time to spend
so i bought a gold plated car and a four-wheel drive fountain pen
and now i'd trade everything that's mine for just a little extra time…
Track Name: Some Day All This Will Be Yours
i was crawling around on the floor
with a pile of poop in my drawers
when my daddy sat me down on his knee
and said someday all this will be yours

the hot yellow ozone that's clogging your pores
the pus oozing in from under the door
that lump that you never noticed before
the bloated remains washed up on the shore
this unstable sphere split apart at the core
someday all this will be yours