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I Dink, Therefore I Am

by The Ditty Committee

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the milky meter maids with their hair in braids flirting with their fingers crossed they say to stay a while and then start writing tickets and turning all the spigots off we get the quiver lip we get the teary eyes we get a million reasons not to try we keep it in perspective we keep it slow and steady when the signal's given we'll be ready yeah we're going onward & awkward can you believe it onward & awkward everybody onward & awkward the lights are too bright our shoes are too tight lalalalalala our pupils dilate we hyperventilate lalalalalala we keep our wits about us hiding our clammy hands from the people in the stands they can't pin nothing on us we've got the tunnel vision blind fold, chainsaw, make the incision yeah we're going onward & awkward can you believe it onward & awkward everybody onward & awkward ditty committee onward & awkward
it would take four eyes to see his desperate tears for two more ears it would take four ears to hear his desperate cries for two more eyes it would take two minds to comprehend the longing that he feels he's a waste of space he'd be better off dead he's afraid to show his face he's the boy with only one head a quack physician botched a transplant a faith healer fell from grace his mother strapped a mirror to the side of his face but the mirror clouded over in a tide of tears and snot in wishing for a second he's gonna lose the one he's got he's a serious case he's got no indie cred he needs to take a good look at himself he's the boy with only one head when you're feeling like a loser and you wish that you were dead or perhaps instead of you you'd rather be someone else instead just give yourself a kiss and put yourself to bed and remember what i said: two heads are better than one one head is better than none and what's done is done
the world was mine and i had some time to waste so i crawled out of the slime and evolved into an ape then in the relative blink of an eye i irrevocably altered the landscape so close to the truth so close to the top so close and yet so what the world was mind and i had some time to kill so i loaded my shotgun and i fired at will but no matter how many people i shot the stronger the resistance got so close to the gold so close to the cup so close and yet so what so what if it rains so what if it snows why are we here nobody knows and if they tell you that they do know they're an asshole the world was mine and i had some time to spend so i bought a gold plated car and a four-wheel drive fountain pen and now i'd trade everything that's mine for just a little extra time…
i was crawling around on the floor with a pile of poop in my drawers when my daddy sat me down on his knee and said someday all this will be yours the hot yellow ozone that's clogging your pores the pus oozing in from under the door that lump that you never noticed before the bloated remains washed up on the shore this unstable sphere split apart at the core someday all this will be yours


Conceived of by a carefully selected group of fiscal giants
Recorded, Mixed & Produced by James Pertusi at...
The Kennel, The Whelping Box, and Guantanamotown
Mixed at The Whelping Box


released January 27, 2014

Gideon Kendall: vocals, sampler
James Pertusi: bass, guitar, synth, backing vocals
Bob Byrne: keyboards, backing vocals, guitar
Dan Gottesman: drums, backing vocals
Lee Patrick: keyboards, piano
Kevin Lacroix: giggles


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The Ditty Committee Brooklyn, New York

The Ditty Committee is a group of hand picked individuals, each with extensive training in areas including (but not limited to):

Saying words in a meaningful or evocative order.
Assembling notes with interesting mathematical relationships.
Hitting things.
Debt collection.
... more

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